The National Women’s Month Celebration has its roots in the recognition of International Women’s Day (IWD), which is commemorated on 8 March every year. It is a historical event stemming from the organizing efforts of women in the early 20th Century. The month of March officially became Women’s History Month in 1987 and gives the opportunity to acknowledge the historical contributions of women, which range from honoring women for their valiant efforts, standing for other women, speaking and encouraging one another to reach new heights and set goals for the next generation of women around the world. As we continue with the commemoration of the History of Women’s Month, I would like to stand in solidarity with single mothers, who carry the burden of singlehandedly raising children and fending for the family. Single mothers are undeniably courageous, strong and determined as they face the vulnerability to motherhood.

Statistics have shown that one quarter of households are headed by single parents with 80.4% of them accounting for single mothers. Single mothers are required to be able to manage everything by themselves. They have increased responsibilities such as transporting children to and from school and facilitating their attendance for some medical appointments, carrying out household chores, ensuring the proper upbringing of their children, which is one of the most important things single mothers strive for. They have to accept these responsibilities and challenges which can never be minimized nor exaggerated.

Single mothers face a range of unique challenges that impact both their own well-being and the dynamics within their families. Chief among these are financial concerns, limited support system and increased emotional stress to mention but just a few of the hurdles, which they face and grapple with on a daily basis. These challenges often compound and drive them into mental health challenges.

The most common mental health challenges faced by single mothers are sleep deprivation, inadequate self-care, financial insecurity, on-going conflict with a former or estranged partner, weak support networks, history of abuse, stereotype, stigma and judgment and parenting a child or children and in some cases a child with special needs. There is an emotional challenge that single mothers go through, which is a sense of loneliness and depression.

Single mothers have multiple roles and responsibilities that have adverse effects on their psychological well-being. These roles and responsibilities become stressors which often lead to mental health crisis. Some of the single mothers will struggle with episodic and chronic depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), alcohol and substance abuse, low self-esteem, social isolation, suicidal ideation and lack of emotional support. Single mothers also suffer from single mom syndrome, a scenario, where a lone mother is obsessed with her child and thinks of herself as the best caregiver for the child.

In order to ensure that single mothers do not miss out on motherhood, which is the most beautiful feeling a woman cherishes, they can seek social support from family, co-workers, friends and the church or church leaders and members. Doing so will help them to strive for financial security to cope with the numerous challenges, which they face.

There are various coping strategies that single mothers engage in, which include religion, positive re-interpretation, self-distraction, use of instrumental support, planning, acceptance, active coping, self-blame, venting, humour, denial and behavioural disengagement. Single mothers need encouragement to adopt positive coping strategies such as practicing good self-care, looking after their mental health and devising coping behaviours that can change their thinking and action to help manage the internal and external demand and reduce the burdens of life. They can also engage in positive thinking, good sleep routine, cognitive restructuring, relaxation techniques, physical exercises and doing or playing yoga.

There has been some recommendations to establish single parents associations, which will enable single parents to learn new skills that will provide them with opportunities to earn income.

While this article was written to applaud single mothers, the writer acknowledges that single fathers also face the same challenges that are faced by the single mothers. Some single fathers provide valuable support and other benefits to their families. They too require support, which will help them create a nurturing and positive environment for their children.

To cope with socio-economic challenges, single parents can engage in petty trading, denial of personal comfort, engage in hire purchases and credit, property mortgaging, re-marriage and fostering. While fostering is a major coping strategy, it comes with problems which place the single mother and their family at a disadvantage and may produce more problems rather than alleviate them.

The benefits of therapy for single parents can never be over emphasized. Speaking their mind with someone else can help them feel heard and prepare them to handle any challenges that come their way. Therapists can provide emotional support, stress management, give them room to share and discuss their concerns with a professional, who can offer guidance and coping strategies.

By learning these coping strategies, single parents can strengthen relationships with their children with practical bonding skills, improve the understanding of each other’s needs and create a more positive family atmosphere.

It can be overwhelming and expensive to raise a child and hence single parents are encouraged to seek assistance and help, where need be and not to shun offers of assistance from well-meaning people and organisations.

Children who are less privileged and are raised in poverty are at a disadvantage that can continue to cause challenging issues (mental health challenges included) for them as they progress into adulthood.

Government, non-profit making organisations and charities’ intervention can help to ease the burden encountered by single parents and their children. This can be done through setting up programmes that help feed children and families, support employment for parents, provide housing, education, assistance for widows, assistance for people experiencing domestic violence, and other financial support, which are designed to help lift children and their families out of that spiral of hardships. Transformative interventions can be included to the establishment of business forums to assist single parents to network and improve their educational qualifications.

To all the single mothers, as you commemorate the History of Women’s Month, the world applauds you for your courage, strength and determination. While being a single mother has at times brought some tears to you as you care for children and families, you need to wear big smiles on your faces and be proud that you found a way of striking a balance between being a Mother and Father at the same time.

Happy International Women’s Day.

Mercyline Soko
Intern Counselling Psychologist
MSc Couns Psych (GZU), M.Ed Mgt (ZOU), BSc (Hons) Psych (WUA)
Mobile: 00 263 77 940 607
Email: mercylinesoko@gmail.com